MY Morning Thoughts. From Past Facebook Posts.

I only frequented one bar in Asheville. Westville Pub. I’d play pool there or sat in far deep corner with my laptop, writing. I knew the founding owners and I organized shows there as well. Then a shooting occurred few months ago. First time! Before that night, I seldom go out anymore though. Honestly, I am more concerned with the spike of crime in the city than the fear of catching Covid-19. But I am still here because any place on earth is as good, and bad, as any. 🎱💻⏰

When Facebook shut down, a quiet panic ensued. A daily ritual suddenly went pfft! Then I thought, what if the entire internet is cut? I couldn’t even watch a Netflix series. In fact, TV also pauses because it’s part of the server plan. Then it was time to read a book, spin some vinyl, and watch DVDs. Check flowers and veggies in the garden. And then what if all we have are old books? Then I will go back in time and stay a recluse in that “haunted” house and read books.☎️💽📺

Pickled Bologna. Given by a friend, native of Kentucky. I haven’t tried it yet. I am an”adventurous” eater although I was an on/off vegetarian for 12 years before I gave up in middle of 1990s. Food is an effective way to interface cultures. And I used food/cooking a lot to introduce myself with new friends and communities. I eat what they offer; and the I present what I can. Some people get “offended” when their food is refused. I understand. 🍴😋🍴

Lest I’d be boxed as a populist conservative, I favor community traditions. Seek a changing society? Go to big cities. That’s what seekers do as they leave their small town. I decided to live here in Asheville after 9/11 though I have been visiting since 1999 from New York City. Cool! I love local culture. I organized events and published a newspaper. Then transplants from mostly big cities moved in and changed Asheville. But the beautiful colors of the mountain stay. 🏕🍁🚧

Arrow’s “pull it!” Her favorite game. Her favorite hobby is draining stuffed toys out of innards (cotton insides) till they are “finished,” then she collects them in a box. Sometimes I wonder, what’d be in dogs and cats’ mind? Do they think about us, humans? For sure, they “feel” because their level of action/reaction adjusts in so many ways with ours. In my case, my reflex and response follow their beat. They trained me pretty good, I guess. 🐕🙂🐈

Halloween candy madness is over. Time to visit the dentist to clean kids’ mouth and teeth. My grandsons Keian and Kaiden, kids of my eldest Daphne and Keith; they live in Ohio. Children’s world isn’t adult’s world. Let them frolic, have fun. No need to intellectualize every little thingy in life. What matters is attention and love. Governments, schools, church, media etcetera assist but it is parenthood that matters the most in a child’s life. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💓👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

Beyond the fancy glare of electronic baubles. We see a universe of expostulating earthlings. And we realize we don’t really want to see most, or all, of us. One-click "knowing" is not good. Let the mysteries be for the seeking. The quest is what makes life a majickal adventure. “Life” in the backyard: Angel child beside the greenery. Strange “cactus?” sticking out of a tree stump. These offer calm and peace more than the whiny drama of 7 billion insatiable humanity. 🦋🍁🐓

Made in India. India is the U.S.’ manufacturing fallback in case China doesn’t break. China, India, and Mexico are Top 3 in providing us consumer products. Ease of tariff over more Chinese purchase of U.S. products was agreed in the Jan 2020 U.S./China trade pact, as cure to the 2000 deal. But this side of 1 Percent don’t concur. So India is it. Yet gut issue is: Made in China, India, Mexico, or the U.S. You buy or you don’t. The rest is just political caterwaul. 👜💸👟

Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Valentine’s. Etc etcetera. Tradition. Culture. Fun. Life. We don’t have to overthink, intellectualize, or politicize all these—just to magnify that you are more aware than those who don’t belong with your moral plane or correctness trip. Consumerism? Everyday, it’s consumer time. So that’d be primal common sense. So chill. If you don’t want to abide, don’t. Close your door tonight when trick `n treaters come knockin’. The cat will entertain them and give away Reese’s. 👹👺🤡

Even before Covid-19 hit last year, I already decided to push my reclusiveness deeper. So that’d mean, I am mostly with two dogs and a cat. We in the house usually mind our own business, so to say, and chat only when needed. We don’t waste time on stuff like political banter. So I talk more with Arrow, Riley, and Cyd. They do get my English despite the accent. And I do hear them. And we don’t talk about politics either. 🐕🗣🐈

Life Evolves.

Written Years Ago.

LIFE does evolve. It is not about us oldies anymore. It's about the future of the young. Remember the days? A 17-year old hotshot smartass slugging out my dad's admonitions or grandma's reprimands: “I've been there and back! Listen to me, young man!” Well, I probably “listened” but off the “annoying” words exiting off my left ear soon after I stepped out of the house. Now, my own kids have grown and one is now a parent (so I am a grandpa). 

       Now I talk like my dad. To my artist/filmmaker son: “I know art shouldn't be sold like a material bauble, but you gotta earn to pay bills, son.” To Law student daughter: “Rest up sometime, please. You can't  solve all problems posed afront you. Relax.” To my middle daughter, a parent: “Yes, you have two kids at 23 but life isn't over yet. Dreams don't die. But kids are blessings.” 

       I heard those words over and over and over again in the past—from mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, aunt, uncle, mentors, and elderly who cared and loved me deeply although I always defined their generosity with the tone of their exasperated voice or pummeling ebb of their sentiment whenever they said those reminders. Perhaps, I allowed my youthful impatience to cloud the beauty of their heart. I listened alright but did I feel—beyond the harsh words and frustrated tears? I can only shake and bow my head in apology... 

       Ah, the “cool” ones that I preferred to hang out with, soft voices and nice lessons, those who seldom disagreed, they were so “cool.” Yet they left when the tempest started shakin' and breakin'. And those that are left to bear with my flaws and faults, indiscretions and imperfections—are those whose words I now channel through my own “admonitions” and “reprimands” to my children. ☮️❤️‍🩹☮️

“Love Gained, Love Lost, Loving and Leaving.”

Written, years ago.

IN the past few weeks, I've been kind of talking or helping out three longtime friends who've been painstakingly laboring over their respective relationships/marriages. Two are married, one is single (or supposedly “engaged”). Sadly, in almost stunning coincidence—all of them finally broke up this week. I didn't know if my words did matter but I tried to objectify situations and stuff. Yet I know whatever I said were simply buffers or respites from the turmoil. They decided because they had to.

   

       A relationship, despite the glowing promises of the courtship/honeymoon phase, is not a picnic by a serene beach. Mostly (due to physical realities beyond the “I love you”) it is a raft jaunt amidst a turbulent sea or a rollercoaster ride that refuses to stop. Yet that magical glue called love keeps two together and consign all the challenges and hardships to the backburner. Love will find a way. There could be nine staggering “dealbreakers” in a relationship—more than enough reasons to end it, yet that one item, LOVE, negates everything.

       That's the case with my friends. Or in my case, as well—not just faults and wrongdoings by my ex but also mine. Yet some are able to soldier on and survive the darkness, no matter how overwhelming they were, and celebrate their 20th or 30th, 50th wedding anniversaries. Some don't. 

       So when people finally broke up and ended it, that is the time—after few days of reflections and ruminations—that they'd say and realize that they couldn't stand her/his ways and lifestyle, mode of thinking and general attitude anyway. And love wasn't strong enough to find a way. Reason and smart-sense set in. Time to regroup and replan... And move on.

       Moving on is only possible in humility and surrender though. The ability to accept that a failed relationship was a two-person accountability. There is no sense pointing fingers that it's all her/his fault why it didn't work out.    

       People's reflex and response, I believe, is ushered by the situation and circumstances in and around. And that situation/circumstance is the relationship. A partner could either make a person a better individual or the worst that he/she could be. If it failed, it's because the relationship failed—not the person per se. It's a two-person teamwork. 

       So we move on with the hope that the other person enters a new world where she/he can improve on things that needed it, realize potentials, pursue delayed plans, achieve dreams—and maybe find another partner that could really add real meaning to the word, synergy or compromise/negotiation. We move on with the hope as well that we realize the same positive, pro-active and output oriented life, and love. Worse that could happen is—for one or both to self-destruct after the breakup.

       Bottomline, life doesn't end after a breakup or divorce. It is just a shake up leading to a new beginning. ☮️💖☯️